


An ache within my heart and head

by heartlesslynx



Series: Laflams Fluff and Headcanon [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I can no longer tell, I can't tag well at the minute, John is sad, John is stressed, Lafayette and Alex are babes, Multi, Stress, and help him through, cause that's what lovers do, goodnight sweet prince, how do you tag, my brain is goo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 11:09:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11229711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartlesslynx/pseuds/heartlesslynx
Summary: John was exhausted. He wasn't sure if he could feel anything other than tired. Not right now. Not with how everything was going.





	An ache within my heart and head

John was exhausted. He wasn't sure if he could feel anything other than tired. Not right now. Not with how everything was going. 

"Everything OK mon petit?" Lafayette asked, walking past John, sitting on the living room couch. John had been spacing out for who knows how long. He had been trying to work but he couldn't concentrate. 

"'M fine." He mumbled. He rubbed his eyes, the burning all too familiar. He looked at the screen again, ignoring the pain from staring at the lighted screen.

"Will you be done soon?" Lafayette asked, "I know Alex will be home in a while."

"I can try." He said feebly. If he were honest, the graphics he was working on needed to be completely scrapped. But that would be the fourth damn time for this project and he just wanted it done. 

"They'll just think it's crap anyway." He thought. This client was being difficult, and not in a way that he was unused to. But they were unreasonable in their time demands, and to top it off they had been very unprofessional in their meetings earlier in the week, saying that his work had been "crap" to quote one of the people on the project. He wanted to stick it out, but this was getting ridiculous.

"It looks good so far." Lafayette said kindly. And John knew it was in attempts to aid him, but he couldn't believe it. Not now.

"I'm going to my office." John said, getting up and walking around Laf, ducking around an extended arm to get away. He went into the office, closing the door behind him. He set up his laptop again, trying to focus.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed. He just kept staring blankly at the screen, the graphic glaring back at him. "This is fucking stupid." John thought, bringing his feet up to the chair, putting his head on his knees. He wrapped his arms around his legs, glaring at the screen. He was so done with this. But he had to finish it. "You're a failure if you don't finish this." He knew that intrusive thought was uncalled for. He knew his work was good, and that clients could be unreasonable. But he hated this. 

"John, dinner is ready!" Lafayette called down the hall, Alex likely having come home whole he was in his stupor.

"I'm not hungry." John called back, going back to the stupid graphic. He started adding to the layer, hearing someone come down the hall. The door to the office opened, Alex poking his head in.

"Everything ok?" Alex asked, John sighing in frustration.

"I just want to get this stupid fucking project over with." John said, his tone tight and pinched. 

"Laf said it was looking good when you came up." Alex noted, walking around the desk to look at the screen. "I mean, it looks good to me. What else do you have to do?"

"Make it less awful?" John suggested, his frustration leaking into his voice. 

"It's not awful." Alex said plainly, "if you didn't tell me it were unfinished, I'd think it's a professional logo design."

"Well seeing as everything else I've come up with had been 'crap'" John started angrily, "then maybe I wouldn't be dealing with this dumpster fire of a design anyway." 

"John," Alex said consolingly, "Babe, what's going on? It's not like you to be this upset over something like this."

"Everything I come up with is awful." John stated as if it were a fact. "My clients know it, I know it, so why the fucking should I kid myself." His hands clenched at his sides, shaking to go slamming into the screen.

"Baby, don't say stuff like that," Alex tried to consol, "it's not true and you know it."

"It's all fucked!" John said, all but shouting at this point. "I'm fucking useless, why the hell do I even do this? Why the hell do I-" Alex turned John around, getting down to his eye level.

"John, you're shaking." Alex stated plainly. John panted, almost out of breath. He could hear Lafayette coming down the hall, likely wondering about the noise. "Baby, please, talk to me."

John was quiet, catching his breath. He felt such a storm of emotions he didn't know what to feel. He heard Lafayette stepping into the office.

"Mon chou? Mon petit?" He said in concern, "I heard shouting."

"John, talk to us." Alex urged, John's shaking limbs betraying him.

"I'm sorry." He choked, tears starting to pour from his eyes, "It's just awful right now. I'm sorry." Alex wrapped his arms around John, holding him close. John's tears poured freely.

"Baby, this isn't like you." Alex comforted, "you're a great artist. And anyone who says otherwise is clearly insane. What's gotten you so worked up like this?"

John sniffled, "Tuesdays meeting. They shot down four ideas, they called one of them 'crap' and wondered why they even hired me for it."

"Out loud?" Lafayette asked, a touch of anger in his tone. "In a professional environment?"

"They were just being honest." John said in defeat.

"No they weren't." Alex affirmed, "John, you do good work. What they said was unprofessional, and if they're treating their employees like that they need to look at a serious change."

"But I-" John started.

"But nothing, mon petit." Lafayette said, joining them, running a hand comfortingly down John's back. "Alex is right. It was highly unprofessional of whoever said such things and I urge you to go speak with human resources about it as soon as you can."

"But they'll just think I'm complaining." John insisted, "Besides I'm just a freelancer. They won't listen."

"If they don't listen to concerns, they aren't worth your time." Lafayette said plainly. "But you need to tell someone about it. Don't let people keep sweeping it under the carpet. They need to know." 

"But what will they think of me?" John asked, looking up from Alex's embrace.

"They'll think you're an honest," Alex listed, "Hardworking artist. Who doesn't deserve to be treated poorly."

"Who does good work." Lafayette added, "and is a valuable employee who won't let someone be unprofessional in a serious setting where such things are not allowed or correct in any way."

John stopped, mulling it over. "They're right." He had to admit to himself, "What they said was inappropriate and should not be allowed in the workplace." He felt himself calming, the reassurance from his two lovers something he needed to move forward with this. 

"Thank you." He mumbled in Alex's shirt. 

"Anything for you John," Alex stated, "Anything."

"A little better now, mon petit?" Lafayette asked, John nodding. "Do you think you could save so we can eat dinner together? Maybe look at it tomorrow?"

"I'll bring the other designs with me tomorrow." John stated, "If anything I can rework one if those after talking to hr." Lafayette hummed in agreement, getting up.

"Sounds like a plan." Alex said genuinely. "For now, let's have dinner." John nodded, Alex getting up and helping John to his feet. He left his laptop on the desk. He could care less at this point, the piece was as done as it was getting that night. For now, he needed some time with his boys to bring himself back together.

**Author's Note:**

> HERE'S A STORY  
> my workplace has been stressing me out. As thus I have been struggling mentally. It really came to a head these last two weeks. So in order to be OK I have been writing things. This is one of them. Because hurt comfort and stress and OMIGOD I AM FAR TOO CLOSE TO THIS SUBJECT MATTER AND WRITING THIS HELPED SO MUCH.
> 
> and I'm done now. And should sleep. Yay.  
> Tumblr: heartlesslynx  
> I like comments. They are fun and sometimes I reply with wit and sass.


End file.
